Take This Song and Trash It!

Today the radio station listed some of the funniest country-western song titles ever written. It’s almost like the writers were drinking heavily when they came up with these titles. Nah, they wouldn’t do that. Here are a few from the top 100:

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling (this should have won a Grammy!)

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger (Count your blessings and quit whining!)

Luckily, through my connections as the former self-appointed editor of the highly esteemed and award winning RAG–a newsletter crammed full of half truths and embellishments (we were fake news before news was fake)–I was able to obtain several song titles that ended up in the trash pile. My ace reporter delivered these funny titles to me just moments ago after she paid her bail. They take trash can theft seriously in Nashville! In this exclusive you will find only in my blog post (fortunately my standards are way lower than everyone else) here are the titles you were denied the pleasure of hearing.

Whenever You Call Me Baby, I Want To Spit Up All Over You

Your Thighs Turn Me Off But Your Barbecued Ribs Turn Me On (also known as I Want To Get Sauced With You.)

You’re Like My Christmas Lights, You Only Work Half The Time

I Can’t Beer The Thought Of Losing You Miller (also know as I Got The Foam, You Got The Beer)

These are clearly all potential chart toppers. Blake Shelton call me and we’ll talk! By the way, do you know how to change oil?